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At a glittering black-tie gala in Paris last night, Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer was presented with the coveted title Ami de l’Union Française des Marchands de Canots — Friend of the French Dinghy Merchants’ Union in recognition of his outstanding contribution to the cross-Channel inflatable boat industry.
Starmer now joins an elite club of British Prime Ministers, following Boris Johnson, who was inducted three years in a row during what dealers still fondly call La Grande Vague de Boris (The Great Boris Wave of 2020–2022).
One Parisian supplier told us with misty eyes:
“Ah, le Johnson years…it was like your song…Christmas every day…yes?”
Many political pundits are suggesting that our beleaguered leader is sure to get a boost in polls after receiving such honourable recognition from our great friends and neighbours across the channel.
Speaking at the ceremony, Association spokesman Phil Les Bateaux praised Starmer’s dedication to écraser les gangs (“smashing the gangs”).
“As long as he keeps smashing, we’ll keep cashing. Business has never been so good!”
