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After finally considering the possibility that calling Nigel Farage a Nazi 387 times per speech could be diminishing in effectiveness, Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer is reportedly pivoting to a new rhetorical strategy to combat the rise of Reform UK – fat jokes about Nigel’s mum.
The next phase of Labour’s campaign will reportedly involve a tightly coordinated rollout of ‘yo mama’ jokes aimed at Farage’s mum, with Sir Keir set to unveil the first batch in an upcoming speech to the Fabian Society.
A leaked draft of the speech includes the lines:
- ‘Nigel’s mum’s so fat, when she walked past the TV I missed three episodes.’
- ‘Nigel’s mum’s so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before the rest of her.’
- ‘Nigel’s mum’s so fat, she sits next to everybody at a wedding.’
It remains to be seen whether or not this innovative new strategy will pay dividends, but allies on the left have pledged to lend their support. The BBC’s Editorial Guidelines have already been quietly tweaked to “improve political balance.” Every programme, including Gardeners’ Question Time, The Archers, and even the Shipping Forecast, must now subtly integrate at least one Farage’s mum gag per episode.
