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After admitting she was about to break her key election pledge not to raise income tax, VAT or National Insurance, Chancellor Rachel Reeves has insisted that none of it is her fault.
“Blah, blah, Brexit, something something black hole,” she explained, in her trademark media-trained monotone. “Also, waffle waffle, Covid, Tories.”
Most importantly, she insisted that she personally bore no responsibility for the crumbling state of Britain’s finances.
“You can blame it on whatever you like,” she said. “Blame it on the sunshine, the moonlight, the good times…”
After a brief pause, she added, “I personally prefer to blame the boogie.”
