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Britishness unbritish say Labour

The Labour Party have attempted to win over undecided voters with their announcement this morning that being “British” is increasingly incompatible with modern British values.

During a Radio 4 Breakfast Show interview, Party spokesman Shaun O’Vine explained that people moving to Britain from somewhere else and becoming somewhat British, or even very British, is what makes Britain British.

“It’s wonderful to meet my British-Asian, Guatemalan-British and Caribbean-British constituents,” O’Vine explained. “That blend, that mixture, that openness — that‘s what makes me proud to be British-Dutch.”

Asked whether people who identified as “just British” could still be included, O’Vine was cautious. “Look, if someone was born here, never left, and insists on being only British… what exactly is British about that? It’s a very narrow way of looking at identity. Of course, we’re not saying you can’t be British. We’re just saying that being only British isn’t very British.”

O’Vine went on to stress that expressions of pride in one’s birthplace weren’t necessarily wrong. “If you’re born in France and proud to be French, that’s fine. If you’re Scottish or Welsh and cherish that, fantastic. But plain British – or, even worse, English – well, that does risk sounding a little exclusionary.”

With Labour continuing to languish in the polls behind Reform UK, the leadership are said to be hopeful that this new definition of Britishness will win them back support from all proud (hyphenated) Brits ahead of the next election.

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